Top Ten Awards Given IN a Film

18 Feb

The Oscars are just around the corner, and that means more self-indulgent, ass-kissing, who-are-you-wearing nonsense as Hollywood tries to distract itself from the painful reality that the films being awarded aren’t really that good and the awards being handed are meaningless. Here are 10 awards that made a difference.

1.Fletch

Helped him elude corrupt police.

2.The Fugitive

Helped to him catch his wife’s killer.

3.Star Wars

Allowed them to line up in shiny suits.

4.Hoosiers

Gave aging alcoholics a (fleeting) sense of purpose.

5.Zoolander

Opened the door
(briefly) for Blue Steel.

6.Kingpin

Helped him (temporarily) reclaim his dignity.

7.Tropic Thunder

Helped to redeem Simple Jack.

8.The Karate Kid

Led him to stop being such a dick.

9.Over The Top

Reunited him with his creepy son.

10.A Christmas Story
Gave a family electric sex.

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