10 Films That Aren’t As Good As We Think

4 Apr

Sometimes a film’s coolness stifles its soul, and its pursuit of fashion prevents it from having any real style. It’s afraid to journey alone into the unknown darkness, so it desperately traces behind someone else’s footprints. We want so much to believe that these films are counter-culture, progressive, and indie; but really they’re only dull, superfluous turds of hive-mind thinking. Here are 10 films that could’ve been good if they didn’t try so hard to be cool.

1.Buffalo 66

Most likely nobody even remembers this one, but Vincent Gallo is the M. Night Shalaman of indie films, right?

2.Waking Life

Animated (?) actors pontificating on existential concepts they clearly do not understand. Get over yourself.

3.Donnie Darko

When the loser from ‘Independence Day’ turns out to be your font of wisdom, your movie’s not so good.

4.Amélie

Ridiculous sweetness that crosses the line into
obnoxious.

5.Juno

Self-righteous, angry teens that talk in some fake hyper-literary language are not illuminating, they need to be grounded.

6.I Heart Huckabees

We really don’t heart them.

7.American Beauty

Seriously, with that flying bag?

8.(500) Days Of Summer

Two terrible people (and awkward walkers) can’t decide to get together. Who cares?

9.Mallrats

This one’s a no-brainer, right?

10.Garden State

An hour and a half of white boy grumbling and exploring Zach Braff’s “infinite abyss”? Watch this and care.


Got more? Hate this list? Post to comments!

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2 Responses to “10 Films That Aren’t As Good As We Think”

  1. Jasmin April 4, 2011 at 2:01 pm #

    I could add a lot more movies to this list. And include bands, too. Most bands that start with, “The.”

    Nice blog.

  2. karis April 4, 2011 at 3:30 pm #

    I would add Avatar. There was too much attention on the special effects and not enough on writing a good story.

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